HOLY MOLEY

I'M NOT INTO GOD, BUT I AM INTO THESE PHOTOGRAPHS. IT ALWAYS CRACKS ME UP A BIT WHEN RELIGIOUS STATUES EXPERIENCE SPIRITUAL ECSTACY OR WHATEVER. (THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU HAVE NO RELIGIOUS UPBRINGING AND THEN YOU SEE A STATUE MAKING THAT FACE. A THIRTY-YEAR-OLD WOMAN TURNS INTO A FOURTEEN-YEAR-OLD BOY RIGHT QUICK). I ALSO HAVE TO BRING YOUR ATTENTION TO THE LAST GIRLS CHOLA EYEBROWS. AMAZING. BUT ENOUGH OF THIS FOOLISHNESS! THESE REALLY ARE BEAUTIFUL PHOTOS, AND I ACTUALLY FIND RELIGIOUS ART QUITE EXTRAORDINARILY LAVISH AND MOVING. THERE IS SUCH INTENSITY BECAUSE IT IS SUCH A SACRED PRACTICE FOR THE ARTIST. SO TO COMBINE THIS SUBJECT MATTER WITH FASHION PHOTOGRAPHY, AS MILES ALDRIDGE HAS DONE FOR NUMERO IS PRETTY COOL. I LIKE THEM!!

INSPIRATION

PHOTOS (FROM TOP LEFT): JONAS BRESNAN, JO JANKOWSKI, PAOLO ROVERSI, MARCUS OHLSSON, GREG KADEL, TIM WALKER, UNKNOWN, UNKNOWN, PETER LINDBERGH, PAOLO ROVERSI

SHORT AND TIGHT AND MISSING WHOLE BITS

WE'RE AT LESS THAN A WEEK AWAY NOW. I JUST GOT A PRE-BIRTHDAY PRACKAGE FROM MY MOM IN THE MAIL. I HOPE ONE OF THESE SLUTTY, OVERPRICED DRESSES IS IN IT.

JILL STUART 2010

THIS IS MY DESTINY

I DON'T THINK I NEED TO TELL ANYONE THAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE BORN IN PARIS WITH A BERET AND A CONE BRA ON, EATING CHEESE AND DRINKING WINE AND SMOKING MYSELF SILLY WHILE HAVING AFFAIRS WITH FRENCH MEN ON MOTORCYCLES. ANYWAY! ISABELI FONTANA LOOKS GREAT IN THIS EDITORIAL FOR HARPER'S BAZAARE RUSSIA SHOT BY MARCIN TYSZKA. I LOVE THE BLACK LOETARDY-THING (WHAT A SURPRISE HUH?) AND THE LAST DRESS AT THE BOTTOM. LET US IMAGINE THAT WE'RE NOT IN A BLIZZARD IN BROOKLYN BUT RATHER WEARING LINGERIE ON THE SEINE.

B-I-B-A

I WAS LOOKING AT SOME BIBA BOOKS AT THE DESIGN STUDIO LAST WEEK, AND I THOUGHT: "THIS LOOK AIN'T HALF BAD." I LOVE THE SMOKEY GYPSY EYES. I'VE TRIED TO WEAR A SCARF ON MY HEAD BEFORE, BUT IT LOOKED PRETTY DUMB. I FEEL LIKE I WOULD NEED A WILD HEAD OF HAIR RATHER THAN A SCRAGLY ONE IN ORDER TO PULL IT OFF (OR AS THE HAIRDRESSER NEXT TO MINE DESCRIBED MY HAIR, A FRIGHT WIG). REGARDLESS, THESE PHOTOS ARE NICE FOR INSPIRATION.

TODAY IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY DIONNE WARWICK

TODAY MY MOM SENT ME A DIONNE WARWICK CD, AND SO I WANTED TO SHARE MY FAVORITE SONG. MY MOM USED TO SING A LOT OF DIONNE WARWICK COVERS, AND SO WHEN I HEAR THESE SONGS I THINK OF MY MAMA.

I WANT, I NEED

I DARE ANYTONE TO SAY THAT I DON'T NEED THESE THREE DRESSES. YOU ALL KNOW IT'S TRUE. SO PLEASE RUN, DON'T WALK, TO YOUR NEAREST DOLCE AND GABBANA, AKRIS, AND HANNAH MARSHALL RETAILERS AND BUY THEM FOR ME. I PROMISE I'LL WEAR THEM ALL DAY, EVERYDAY FOREVER.

PHOTOS: PAOLA KUDACKI FOR VOGUE GERMANY MARCH 2010. MODEL IS MARIACARLA BOSCANO.

ART OPENING, SHMART OPENING

LAST NIGHT LISA AND I WENT TO AN ART OPENING ON HUDSON STREET CALLED ROMANCE. IT PROBABLY WOULD'VE BEEN BETTER TO CALL IT ALL THE GROSS THINGS ABOUT SEX AND BODIES IN ONE SMALL ROOM WITH NOTHING BUT TRADER JOE'S TWO BUCK CHUCK WINE TO GET YOU THROUGH IT. THE WORST PART WAS THAT THERE WAS A HUGE TABLE OF FOOD - CAKE AND PUDDING AND TURKEY - RIGHT WHEN YOU WALK IN, SO YOU GET SUPER EXCITED THAT THESE PEOPLE ARE GOING TO ACTUALLY FEED YOU. THEN YOU REALIZE IT'S A PIECE OF ART, AND THE DEVILED EGGS HAVE CLUMPS OF PUBIC HAIR ON THEM. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. THEN THERE WAS SOME REALLY BAD PERFORMANCE ART, IE. A BUNCH OF PEOPLE SITTING ON A DIRTY MATTRESS DRINKING BEER AND THROWING CONDOMS AROUND. THERE WERE A COUPLE OF HOT GUYS THERE THOUGH. I'LL GIVE IT THAT.

TODAY IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY MSTRKRFT AND JOHN LEGEND

SUNDAY MORNING

LAST NIGHT I WENT TO A HOUSE PARTY IN BROOKLYN WITH LISA, THEN TO ROSE BAR AT THE GRAMERCY PARK HOTEL, THEN TO ST. JEROMES. IT WAS A FUN NIGHT! I AM THINKING I SHOULD TRY TO GET MORE SLEEP/DRINK LESS THOUGH. TODAY I'M GOING TO GO TO THE BROOKLYN FLEA AND SEE WHAT I CAN SCROUNGE UP. THEN I'M MEETING LISA IN WILLIAMSBURG FOR SOME VINTAGING. MAYBE I'LL FIND JEANS AND SHOES LIKE THESE! I WANT THIS!

T MINUS 11

THE COUNTDOWN CONTINUES. ELEVEN DAYS UNTIL MY BIRTHDAY. SO TO KEEP UP WITH MY PROMISE TO MAKE AN ABSURD LIST OF THINGS I WANT THAT I WON'T GET, HERE IS IS: I WANT THIS!! SECOND ONLY TO MY LOVE OF LEATHER IS MY LOVE OF ALL THINGS MISMATCHED. YES, THIS MEANS THAT WHEN I DON'T LOOK LIKE A TRUCK-STOP DOMINATRIX, I LOOK LIKE A MENTALLY UNBALANCED BAG LADY. BUT IN THE WORDS OF THE BRILLIANT JOY BEHAR: "WHO CARES? SO WHAT?"

PHOTO BY MAX FARAGO FOR AMERICAN ELLE MARCH 2010. STYLING BY CAMILLE BIDAULT-WADDINGTON.

TODAY IS NOT A WEEKDAY.

GOOD MORNING! IT'S FINALLY SATURDAY, WHICH DOESN'T MEAN A HELL OF A LOT SINCE I WORK ON SATURDAYS. HOWEVER! I ACTUALLY HAVE TOMORROW OFF, WHICH THRILLS ME TO NO END. TONIGHT I'M GOING OUT TO KENMARE (AKA "THE NEW BEATRICE") AND I ACTUALLY WON'T HAVE TO WAKE UP THE NEXT MORNING. HALLELUJAH. THESE PICTURES DON'T HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING OTHER THAN THE FACT THAT I LOVE THEM. THE COLORS ARE ABSOLUTELY STUNNING (AS IT SEEMS ALL MERT AND MARCUS COLORS ARE). AND I LOVE RAQUEL ZIMMERMANN! SHE'S NOT ONLY BEAUTIFUL, BUT I SAW AN INTERVIEW WITH HER ONCE AND SHE WAS SO SMART AND THOUGHTFUL AND KIND. SHE SEEMS LIKE A REAL SWEETHEART. SO HERE'S TO SATURDAYS!

I'M OBSESSED WITH ABBEY LEE

THAT'S ALL I REALLY HAVE TO SAY. PHOTOS SHOT BY JOSH OLINS FOR VOGUE RUSSIA MARCH 2010.